Giving (and Control), Part Deux

Some comments rolled in on Shawn's blog. They really know their stuff, and they have a lot to add to the conversation. A few phrases stuck out to me. Here's the rundown.

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From the insightful Ruth:

"great talk, really like the posts! And i see what you are saying Josh.

My opinion on giving to random beggars is actually really easy. I think we should give them as much as possible the things they need. Most beggars do not need money. They think they need money, but money won’t buy them food because they are so easily tempted to do bad things with the money. I remember one time when I was in Charlotte, NC with a friend of mine..we were downtown and saw so money homeless people (we have them over here in Amsterdam and other big cities as well of course..) but they were so many and there was this guy begging for money, we decided to buy him bread. I wouldn’t trust this guy with one dollar, but I knew he would eat the bread and I know he was hungry and he did eat the bread. So my opinion, I would give them, as much as I can, what they need.

Recently I noticed how great giving to others is. When I read Phillipians 4 I see giving is also related to having fellowship with each other. in Phillipians 4:15 paul called it partnership/fellowship. So i agree with what shawn said about giving to those you know and trust. Giving comes forth out of satisfaction from the inside. When you are satisfied with what you have (even if it is just a little) you’ll be more prone to give because your satisfaction does not come from the money you possess or anything. On the other hand, if you are not satisfied with what you have (always greedy) , even if you are a billionair you won’t spend a dollar on your brother."

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Then a charitable Mr. Ronalfy:

"Good points Josh. You could easily make a blog post out of that.

What I had in mind when I wrote my original post was Hurricane Katrina. I knew somebody that was personally affected by the hurricane, and I would rather give my money directly to that person rather than to a charity where I didn’t know where the money was going to go.

I agree with all the comments about giving something besides money to beggars. I can see how buying groceries, food, or giving a ride to someone is just as charitable.

Thanks for all the comments on this post. I appreciate them."

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My turn.

Ronalfy ... blog ... I did. And, again, I agree with giving to trusted sources (our household gives to trusted sources more than anything else), but even trusted sources can have lapses in judgment or other priorities than what we imagine is important for them. There's no guarantee our earmarked cash will go expressly for our intended purposes, whether it's a friend, a charity or a random beggar; it makes no difference. Which is the point where this whole "donate only to certain types" theory breaks down for me. I just can't see it actually playing out A to Z like we want it to. But, like I said, that's mainly what I still do; I'm all for it.

One time a dear friend gave our family some money and said, "Take your wife out on a date." They didn't know that we had no food in the house and that their 65 bucks would be better spent at a store for five meals than on one. Did I tell them? No. They gave and God will reward them for that, but I was a wise steward as well and I will be rewarded for taking care of my three little girls for that week instead of blowing it on steak, lobster and those amazing cheddar biscuits. And then a mint mocha. With whip. 145º so it's not too hot. Man, I wanted that mocha.

By the way, "I can see how buying groceries, food, or giving a ride to someone is just as charitable." Incredible! That's one of the best sentences on this whole post! That's exactly right. Great summary. Amen, let's stand.

Ruth, your "satisfaction" comments are superb. Great insight into realizing your identity. Reminds me of, "Jesus, knowing where He came from and where He was going, took off His outer cloak and began to wash [the disciples'] feet."

I agree with giving them what they need, but I personally find it very difficult to do that in a realistic way (as I just said above, I can't see it going exactly as we had hoped most times). For instance, did your NC beggar need bread or a complete meal? Would he have been even better with an apartment, some new clothes, a job, some real friendships and salvation? We can always do more. Always. It will never be enough.

But it's not about doing enough, it's about just doing it.

Photo by Gaëtan Bourque



If I may, I'd like to ask a question. You said, "I wouldn’t trust this guy with one dollar..." Why do you need to trust him at all? Should our giving be contingent upon what they will do with it?

If I run into a non-Christian beggar on the street, should I make him jump through hoops or make promises to get something from me? In other words, should I place certain standards or expectations on a person who does not subscribe to my belief system? Should I make him "act Christian"?

I have made some homeless folk jump through hoops to eventually get my blessing (and my cash). But I found that making them act a certain way was more for my sake than theirs. One time I even made a guy promise to tithe a dollar of the ten dollars I gave him. At the time it was innocent enough (I was about 14) ... except for trying to control his free will. Really, I was just trying to make sure that some of the cash went to good use. And that was wrong. I can't hold non-Christians to the same standard I ascribe to. If we are being honest, we should admit we can barely get all our own team on the same page.

I'm just saying that we don't need to wait to feel lead to give. And we don't have to trust the person we are giving to. All that is secondary to actually giving. Just doing it is most of the equation.

I'm trying to figure this out, but I'll say it anyways. [I'm a little nervous about the reaction.]

Does God really trust us?

Or does He truly only trust Himself?

I think it's probably a little of both. But the fact of how much we mess things up everyday has me leaning toward Him trusting Himself. All of history, especially Christian history, is not so much about how awesome we are as humans or about how great we are at following Him, but about how incredible His leadership is. Even though we mess it up at every turn, He takes all our mourning and turns it into dancing ... all our ashes and makes beauty out of it ... everything that was meant for evil, He turns it into our good. It's all about how great He is.

Back to the question: well, if that's so (if God does not truly trust anyone other than Himself)—and I'm not yet ready to say that it is—then why should we think we need to trust the person we are giving to? ... Why should we try to control the situation more than God does?